How'd This Happen?

So, one of my dear friends asked such a simple question today. Simple, but one that I don't think I've given much consideration to. "How'd you get here?"

How, indeed.

So, in an effort to document the "how" of where I am right now at this moment, about to do something way of my comfort zone, something I never thought I'd be capable of doing, I will attempt to write it on paper. Or, rather, on a modern version of what appears to be "paper."

Just about three and a half years ago, when Maggie entered kindergarten, I guess I must've decided to take my life back. I started exercising and attending Weight Watchers meetings, started losing the weight of the previous five years, all accumulated due to stress of quitting a job, having a baby, moving to an apartment, building a house, moving to the house, being overwhelmed by the amount of work facing us in the new house. All of it had caused me to pack on the pounds and it seemed that I was finally ready to take them off again, get back to a healthy lifestyle. Which was very successful for about 6 months.

Then I had an injury. Started creeping up on me...my ankle feels funny. Oh...a week later, my ankle feels even funnier now. Another week...hey! My ankle hurts. Maybe I better lay off the gym activities for a while.

Another week...but wait. If I lay off the gym activities, I'll start to pork up again. (I know..."pork up" is not attractive...it's just what came to mind.)

So, I continued with moderate "gym" activities. And walking.

Until I couldn't do either of them anymore without pain. Couldn't walk across the room without pain. The room of my still undecorated house...the one that caused me to eat? That's the one.

So, off to the doc I went. Then to the orthopedic doc. Then I got a pretty isolation boot to wear and I entered into the world of physical therapy. At this point, I can't remember what happened with my weight, but I do know I was a bit panicked...if I can't exercise, I'll surely pork up again!! Oh no. This can't be "it" forever! Here I am in mid life...wearing an isolation boot and people are calling me ma'am!

I swam laps at the gym. I sat in the steam room afterwards. Even the laps made my tendons ache, though.

At this point, I started thinking about sweating. I missed sweating. I missed the sweatiness of my spinning classes. I didn't know how I would ever get that sweaty post exercise feeling of having worked very hard and done something so great for my body. HOW was I going to work up a sweat if I couldn't even walk across a room or swim a lap without pain, for goodness sake!

Things just happen when they are supposed to happen.

I had been talking to a friend who loved Bikram yoga. She was (is) a super athlete. A runner. And yet, she assured me that I could do it. "Oh, sure...I'm not a runner. I'm not even a walker at this point!"

But, desparate to sweat, and liking the happy feel-good, zen-like mood that my gym yoga classes gave me, I thought...I'll just give it a try.

Walked in one day. Took a class. Thought I was gonna die. Or hurl.

But I didn't.

And, being a "good student" and a "rule follower," I listened to my teacher who said, "Come back again tomorrow...no matter how you feel." Besides...she scared me! I was afraid to NOT do what she said! She was not "happy and zen-like." She was kinda bossy, actually, standing up there in the front of the class and telling us all what to do and when to do it and to push harder and keep pushing and don't stop pushing or pulling or sweating or smiling... But then she was happy and zen-like after class. She told me to come back tomorrow. And I did.

And the second class was still hard. Thought I was gonna die again. Or hurl again.

But I still didn't.

And I had another happy but firm and motivating teacher for class on that second day.

Repeat...I went to class four times that week, my "introductory come as many times as you can" week. I wasn't in love, in fact, I was mystified. This was not the happy yoga of my gym. This was not the yoga where we chant "om" before or after our postures. This wasn't "happy yoga." This was well, okay, I admit that I used this term a few times in my early days of Bikram hot yoga...this was "bitchy yoga." But for some strange reason which was yet to be revealed to me, I found that when I left the yoga class, I had no pain in my ankle! I felt great. I had energy. I had no pain in my ankle. I could walk around for the rest of the day without pain in my ankle!!!

What was the cause of this?

Had the tendonitis simply vanished?

Or...did the heat of the yoga room have something to do with it all? Or the meanie teacher? What was she doing up there talking a mile a minute and ordering us all to do stuff and not letting anyone talk or rest. Where'd my tendonitis go???

Let me just try this a few more times, I thought. And each time I felt better and better. Not only did my ankle improve, but my whole body, inside out, felt great. This is amazing! And, hey...look around! Sure, there are super athletic people in this class with me, but there are also "regular" people, just LIKE me!! And, hey....maybe the teacher isn't so bitchy after all. Maybe my "other" yoga classes are just "too happy."

Even I am laughing at that one.

Could this yoga be for "everyone?" Who is this Bikram guy and what is his deal??? Where'd he get this yoga and how can I make it a bigger part of MY life so that I can feel this good for a long long time?

The answer to that was the annual membership, of course. After several months of purchasing 10 classes at a time, I figured out that it would be more economical to buy the "unlimited monthly" pass, which I did. Then it became the challenge of "if I go more times per month, I'm really paying so much less per class."

This is about the time that Bloke started taking classes with me. But that is another story for another day...part two will follow. Even I am tired of reading this post...but I don't want to leave too much out. Cuz my memory is failing (see previous post) and I'll need this in order to remember it all one day, eventually, in the future....