I am going to do my best to end each paragraph in this post with some form of the word "energy." I don't know why, but I thought this would be fun to try. Let's see how I do it. See if I have the energy...
This week was by far the toughest week. By leaps and bounds. At the end of week six, I was actually energized and feeling great, ready to memorize the last postures, power through "only three more weeks," and get done with teacher training. I was feeling like this was totally doable. I had oodles of energy!
End of week seven. Completely different point of view. Completely different energy.
The week started off looking promising. Only one class on Monday due to the holiday and the remainder of the day off. We were all able to rest up, get some extra studying in, and prepare for the week ahead. Stock up on energy.
Or so we thought.
Not so fast.
Temperatures here in Las Vegas this week took a steady climb from the lower 90s into the 100s. Oh, sure, there is "no humidity here." Like that is supposed to make a hundred and two degrees feel okay? Think again. A hundred and two degrees feels like a HUNDRED AND TWO degrees. And when it's still in the 90s as you walk down to the lecture hall for evening lecture, well, it's H-O-T outside. And, of course, hot outside means HOT inside the tent as well. People are dragging themselves around, in a constant state of tiredness due to the high heat and how difficult it is making two yoga classes a day. The heat seems to be depleting everyone of energy.
I really don't remember things from one day to the next because I am so tired. It's okay, because neither do my friends here, so I know it's not just my mind starting to fail. I know that it's everyone's minds! It's hard for the brain to work properly when you are running low on energy.
I am now dreaming about a time, eventually in the future, when I will be rested and actually feel energized.
So, following Monday's "holiday," the rest of the week went on as usual. Two classes each day and posture clinics. We are through Camel Pose right now, so the end is really so close that it's exciting. Classes were extremely hot and people were having to leave class. I went out of the tent on some day that I can't remember during the 5PM class. It was just too much for me. I have been crying in class all week, due to sheer exhaustion. It is said that crying is good because you are "letting go" of whatever you need to let go of.
Whatever. I don't know what I'm letting "go" of, but if it is energy, then I sure wish I could get it back!
All I know is that I am tired, I don't want to be doing this anymore, and I can't wait to get back to my real life, surrounded by the people I love. And to feel like "Marcia" again, to feel energized.
Maggie had her dance recital this weekend and it makes me extra sad that I wasn't there to see her. She sounded tired on the phone when I spoke with her on Saturday afternoon. She actually admitted that she was feeling "good, but tired" that day. I think when a kid will actually admit to being tired...well, then you KNOW that she really is probably beyond tired. She is also low on energy.
And Mark. Mark is hanging in there and working so hard to take care of everything, but I can hear it in his voice that he, too is ready for all of this to be over and for life to get back to normal. He also is in need of some energy.
We had several visiting teachers this week teach interesting classes. Some were great with very high energy. Others were not so great with not so high energy. For the first time in the yoga tent during one class this past week, I could actually "feel" that there was no energy coming from the teacher to the class OR from the class to the teacher. No one's fault...neither side was giving to the other. During all of our posture clinics over the past few weeks, the teachers keep stressing that we put our "energy" into it, and now I understand exactly why! It is so crucial for the students to receive energy from the teacher in order to know that they can make it through class (refer back to "mind over the matter" post). And, at the same time, the teacher gets energized from the students in order to make it through the class. That being said, posture clinic is such an artificial environment. It's like a dress rehearsal. I think the real energy will come when we start teaching and are able to create the energy and feel it coming from the students. Isn't there some scientific theory that says something about energy producing more energy?
Speaking of which...we had a lecture this week from Dr. Mani Bhaumik, author of "Code Name God." His lecture was about energy and fields of energy. It was brief, and we were wishing for more time with him, but it was an interesting afternoon. He tried to explain to us that the body/mind connection is so important in order for us to harness energy. In yoga class, for example, the more you can train your mind to tell your body what to do and when to do it, it's like tuning into a radio station. If you can find your "frequency," you will gain energy.
I sure could use an updated tuner. I sure could use some of that energy.
In order to be energized, a person has to eat, right? Well, finally it has been difficult to eat this week. Every day at the buffet, faced with the same food choices and having to eat as much protein as possible in order for muscles to recover and to have enough energy to survive the next class or the next day has become much of a challenge. I just don't feel hungry at all, and yet if I don't eat, I know I won't have what I need for yoga class...energy!
On this note, Bikram lectured this week on the topic of food. This is a very interesting topic to listen to him discuss. His mantra is "the best food is no food!" He talked about what happens to the food we eat, how it is distributed, how much we actually need and use and what is waste. Apparently, the "waste" accumulates in the stomach, where the skin is the thinnest and this is why we have big bellies (some of us...I know you don't if you are reading this!). What I know is that I seem to have accumulated a lot of "waste" over the past seven weeks. Two more weeks to go. At this rate, I won't fit into my graduation outfit! Bikram also told us that doing Camel Pose helps to increase the digestive enzymes in your stomach so that they can digest more food more efficiently. I think I need to add more Camels to my daily routine or no one will recognize me by the time I return to life. Bottom line, in his opinion, is that the more muscle you build, you can eat just about anything, just don't eat too much of it, and your body will use it efficiently, get rid of what it doesn't need, and there won't be any "leftovers" to accumulate around your stomach...or hips, thighs, or butt! Bikram likes to refer to this as "cottage cheese." He doesn't like to see "cottage cheese hanging," and will shout about this during class in order that we tighten our hip muscles properly. Funny.
He has gotten tough in class this week. He starts out with a lot of yelling and scolding various people if they are not trying sufficiently. He does not let anyone sit down anymore. Says if we are not dying, we can do the class and always adds that "You will not be so lucky to die in my class!" And after a while he complains to us that we are making his throat hurt because he has to yell so much. He gets quieter at the end of the class. Then after final savasana, always there is a song played over the speakers during this time...a tune from either of his two albums...he walks out and always gives us a compliment as he leaves. Always tells us something that we did in that class that day that was better than we did the day before. And even when you are feeling like you can't possibly get up and walk out of the class at this point because you are physically and emotionally exhausted, when the teacher says something positive to you, you get a tiny bit of energy and you are able to pick yourself up. Amazing what you can do with just a tiny bit of energy!
So, again, I have come up with an assignment for you. This week's assignment has to do with, of course...energy! Try it and see what happens. I don't know if it will work over the phone, but I am almost certain that it will work if you are face to face with someone. Or a group. Look for a situation that you might be in this week...at the checkout line somewhere with a cranky checkout person, in front of a classroom of cranky or ill-behaved students, going about your morning wake-up routine with you quiet or cranky family, no one speaking to each other. You get the idea. Look for a situation like that and try to do something or say something or exude something with positive energy. A smile, a nice compliment, asking a question to let the other person(s) know you are interested in them or care about them...and see what happens. I predict that you will be able to FEEL the energy rise. And the great thing about doing this is that not only will you be giving a great gift to someone else, but you will receive it back in an even greater quantity. It will carry you through the rest of your day. It is simply...energy.
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