One of the reasons I began writing this blog was because reading the blogs of other teacher trainees who went before me was inspiring and comforting. I read through what they wrote and connected with many of them on many levels. I felt that "they did it, so maybe I could too." And I felt like I sort of knew how things went here because they wrote about it in their blog posts. So, in a way, they helped to prepare me for the teacher training experience.
So, one of my reasons for this was to do my "yoga" and help someone else.
Uh...major revelation this week. Giving myself a big "Duh!" right now. Because the truth is that there is absolutely no way to describe what happens here at training adequately to anyone other than someone who has already been through it. AND...I'm only three weeks in. So my "description" doesn't even really qualify as a "description" yet.
So, the question is...am I helping in any way? Or am I just helping myself by getting my thoughts out of my head and onto the screen.
Conclusion...I could really use the help right now, so I'll just take the "helping myself" part (because there are times when I need all the help I can get) and if there is someone out there who benefits from reading my thoughts, then that is just icing on the cake. Cheese on the pizza. Syrup on the pancakes.
Can you tell it's almost dinner time here?
Week Three has passed. I've been trying to think of a "theme" for the week. What will I title this Sunday's blog post? How did it go this week? Is there a central feeling or mood that describes this third week of training?
I guess it would be "roller coaster ride." This is the way so many teachers described what it feels like to be here. And I thought...okay. This means that some days you are "up" and other days you are "down." Some classes are "good" and some classes are "bad." Right? I can handle this. I've been on roller coasters.
Only, one small tiny little problem.
I don't like roller coasters any more.
In fact, I go out of my way to avoid them. Like the plague. Seriously.
NO roller coasters EVER again in my life.
Who needs 'em?
Why waste my time on 'em?
Those things are for thrill-seekers.
I'm over that.
I don't do that any more.
Uh...well, it would seem that, unfortunately, I am on a coaster right now. And the ride is far from over. And I am locked in. Unable to get off. I have to just breathe and ride and make it to the end.
So far, I've had ups and downs. The ups have been WAY up and the downs have been WAY down. My stomach has been turning. And I have felt like throwing up on several occasions. That's all roller coaster stuff, right?
The week started off great here. Monday was a good day (as I think all Mondays will be...rested and well-fed from the weekend). We had afternoon anatomy lectures with Dr. Jim Preddy, who is an ER doctor here in Vegas as well as an anatomy teacher and he is the American version of my brother-in-law Alan. Dr. P as he is affectionately known by all of us here, is a very loveable teddy bear kind of a guy with a great sense of humor and a big talent for teaching. He has taken yoga class with us twice this week and we are all so happy to have him in class with us, giving him a better understanding of what happens in 90 minute yoga class and how it relates to what he is teaching us. Evenings have been full of posture clinic, where we deliver our dialogue to a few demonstrators who do the posture so we can connect the words with the bodies and get some good practice for one day when we teach. Bedtime has been reasonable this week, no late night lectures, so you would think that the week would be a breeze.
Just goes to show you that you should have NO expectations.
Ever.
Never think you know what you're getting into because you just might be wrong.
After Monday, things just progressively went downhill. Down the biggest roller coaster hill. All the way down, all the way down...
Tuesday came with high temperatures here in Vegas. High temperatures outside, much like the low temperatures for the past two weeks which made the tent cold...have made the tent HOT. HOT. Like, Tuesday night, when we entered the yoga tent, we were all checking the little thermometer at the back and it said 128 when I walked past it. That is enough to give anyone a bit of a mental issue right before class. So, I just took it easy during class. WAY easy. Like, flat on my butt easy. People were dropping like flies all around me. The heat is ON here and I would like to believe that this is our "transitional period" of getting used to it. Much like when the weather changes in Richmond in the Spring...and the humidity starts to creep up and everyone starts suffering from "Oh MY GOD it's hot in the yoga room what are those crazy teachers trying to do to us" syndrome. And then, after a couple of weeks, we all get used to it and it's fine. I'm hoping (and, okay...well...praying) that this is all that is happening. Maybe Week Three is a transitional temperature week? Perhaps Week Four will be easier cuz I'll be used to the heat?
Emmy, the Bikram yoga legend, who is 82 and quite amazing, has been teaching our morning classes all week. She does not stand up on the podium. Instead, she wanders around and you never know exactly where she is in the room and/or when she will sneak up on you and fix your posture. Keeps you on your toes. She has some very good tips about precision of alignment in the postures and she has given our afternoon lecture a few times this week to expand upon this. One of the most significant points that she made this week was that we all get into bad habits with our postures. We may be slightly misaligned in triangle, for example, where there is so much room for error. And once the body gets used to that misalignment, we continue to do the posture that way, developing bad habits which can lead to injury. This is why it is so important to listen in class and do exactly as the instructor says...and to really think about your alignment. It's not your goal to make the posture "look perfect." Your goal is to execute the posture with proper alignment and intention to the best of your ability ON THAT GIVEN DAY. That is what gets the results that you want without injury. Might take a week, a month, a year...but you'll get there. I'm always discussing this issue with Mark (well...okay...arguing my point actually) at home. Perhaps it is the "male vs. female" thing?
He will come home from class and say "I did okay, but I didn't do insert-a-posture-name-here and insert-another-posture-name-here."
Then, I say..."You mean you sat out those postures?"
Then he says, "Uh...no, I just didn't get all the way back (or forward or touch my head on my knee, or whatever is necessary to make the posture look like, well, the posture, you get the idea)."
Then I go all "postal" on him and try to lecture about "it's not what it looks like, it's HOW you do it...you don't need to be perfect LOOKING, you just need to be trying the right way."
We end up agreeing to disagree here. But now that I am learning from Emmy this week, I know that I am right. :) Sorry, Honey. No one messes with what Emmy says.
One afternoon lecture was Emmy asking volunteers to come up on stage and get help with their triangle postures. People were rushing up there and she was fixing them all. Many were making faces of pain and torture as she was pushing their arm one way, torso another way, head another way. But we are all grateful to Emmy. She's everyone's grandmother and we are all very respectful of her, as she is of us.
Wednesday morning class was another tough one for me. The heat was up again in the room and our group was moved to the front two rows. We are now alternating rows in the yoga room so that each day you are on a different row. I ususally hang out in the middle to back rows, near a side of the room so that I can see the side of the room and not be immersed in the middle of 360 people. So, it was the first time I got to see myself in the mirror since Week One. Scary sight! I'm not looking so attractive. I see people all around me looking pretty good. They have cute yoga outfits and bright eyes and shiny hair. And they are all skinny. You can actually see their muscles. Me? Right now, I'm sort of looking like a pasty version of the person I thought I looked like. My hair is turning a sort of brassy color, complete with gray roots popping out. This looks particularly attractive when all pulled back from my face, the curly and frizzy parts sticking up all around my head like some evil halo. And then there is the lighting in the yoga tent, which seems to make me look even more pale than my Slovak heritage allows. That, and avoiding the sun like the plague. I don't think I am losing weight, as discussed previously in the "puffy" section of last week's blog post. In fact, I'm thinking that my "corporation" is getting larger and I am wearing more long yoga tops now instead of the short ones that I brought.
Oh...the "corporation?" This is what Emmy affectionatley calls the stomach. She was teaching this week and in several postures where you do a forward bend, you may be able to get your forehead on your knee a little better if you "don't have a large corporation."
Thursday and Friday classes are a blur to me. It was hot. I was tired. Some digestion issues caused some dehydration for which I was given Pedialite. I now have a nice bottle of Pedialite handy at all times. I still have some issues with my stomach and am hoping that they settle down, as taking two classes a day while eating the "BRAT" diet does not seem very doable. I will continue to take it easy in class and do what I can, rest when I can, cry if I need to. It's all a matter of letting out the frustration, I think. A good cry at the end of class just sort of comes out. And then I feel much better. Amazing. I don't even know why the crying happens. I hope that will be part of a lecture in the weeks to come.
So, bottom line, this week classes got harder, mainly due to the fact that the heat was higher. And for some reason, my digestive tract sort of exploded. I had heard that this happens to people sometime during the training, but of course I didn't think it was going to happen to me.
Again...why I am thinking and anticipating is beyond me. You think I would know better by now. Don't think ahead. Don't anticipate. JUST like in 90 minute yoga class. Let someone else think for you (in this case, the teacher).
Worst part of the digestive tract issues...dehydration. Best part...
...
...
I'm waiting for something to come into my head for "best part."
Maybe later it will come.
Otherwise physically my knees are still slightly "talking" to me. Nothing major, just a little chatter. Actually, they feel best during class, so I am glad for the two classes per day.
We have 30 classes in so far. Three weeks down. The yoga classes are actually the best part of the day. You are in your own space, under your own control. You're not sitting in a chair for several hours in lecture. Or on the floor for several hours in posture clinic. You are moving, you are finding some space and some peace. One of the two classes is usually taught by a very dialogue based teacher, so it helps to hear the dialogue over and over again. If I can stay physically healthy, it will be a good thing. If I can get my digestion back on the right track, it will help a lot.
But enough about my physical ailments.
Let's get mental.
That is going pretty okay. (Well...I know...all the crying? Something is clearly up with that, but I think that is coming more from all the yoga and from being so tired and having no control over my weekday life, so I feel I can say that "mentally" I really am doing okay.) I get to talk with Maggie each day (see schedule...5 or 10 whole minutes!) and she is always sounding great and happy, so that makes me feel good. She always answers with "Awesome!" when I ask her how her day was. Can't get better than that. Today when we were on Skype, she gave the computer a big hug and that made me happy as well.
Mark seems to be holding up okay. I know that having Taylor help out with Maggie is allowing him to stay at work and hopefully not feel too overwhelmed with all of the responsibilities of work and single parenthood. I am grateful for Taylor, our baby-sitter, who is a big part of helping him with Maggie.
I miss them so.
Let me be a responsible writer and answer a question.
So, the typical day here at teacher training...someone posed this question and I feel responsible to answer. At least I can speak for the first weeks of training. So far, the schedule is something like this...
7:00 alarm goes off
7:15 second alarm goes off
7:15 roommate's alarm also goes off
7:25 drag myself out of bed, have a "wake-up" shower, get dressed for yoga class
7:45 prepare beverages for yoga class, one water, one electrolyte beverage of some type
7:55 walk to yoga "compound" in rear area of the hotel
8:00 sign in for class (this is VITAL...if you forget, you have to do an extra make-up class on Saturday directly after Saturday's morning class)
8:05 get a good spot in the yoga room, lay down mat and stake claim to the spot (usually near the end as to avoid claustrophobia)
8:10 study for a few minutes
8:30 yoga class starts, 90 minutes
10:15 - 10:30 depending on how much extra stuff the teacher threw into class, return to hotel room, shower and eat something.
Study time.
11:30 prepare backpack with water and snacks for afternoon lecture
11:45 walk to lecture room in the "yoga compound" area
12:00 sign in for afternoon lecture (again...VITAL to sign in)
12:30 afternoon lecture until 4:00
2:30ish..break time for eating snack, using restroom, calling Maggie
2:45 break over
4:00 rush back to hotel room to change and prepare water bottles for class
4:25 walk back to yoga compound
4:30 sign in for afternoon yoga class, find spot for the mat
4:35 study for a few minutes
5:00 yoga class starts, 90 minutes
6:45-ish return to hotel room to shower and eat (maybe go to the hotel buffet or a restaurant if there is time)
8:30 sign in for evening lecture or posture clinic
9:00 posture clinic/lecture until...11:00, midnight, or later, depending on the subject matter and who is lecturing
Next day, repeat the same process.
Next day, repeat the same process.
Next day, repeat the same process.
Next day, repeat the same process.
Ever see the movie "Groundhog Day?"
On Saturday, the alarm goes off at 6:45 and I get up by 7:00, drag myself to shower and out the door by 7:30 to sign in for 8:00 class. We are then released after 8:00 class (it's usually near 10:00 by the time we get done).
We return to the room to shower and eat, then head out for doing laundry and any grocery shopping or errands. It's easier to eat in the room due to time constraints during the week, so we get stuff to make lunch and easy dinners during the week, then eat out on the weekends.
Sunday is a day of "luxury" because you can sleep in and there is no schedule. You just plan your own. Normally, you are feeling rested and are able to study and spend some time communicating with home. Sunday is my day to clean up my blog thoughts from the week and post them.
This week, we did not do the car rental thing on Saturday (thus the early blog posting!). Saved some time and money and gained an entire day on Saturday to study by sending the laundry out with a guy who comes to pick it up near the yoga tent around noon on Saturday and returns it to the same location on Sunday. This seems like a good deal...saving a lot of time. But, I haven't yet seen the results, so am not sure if it's really a good deal or not. At this point, if I don't ever see those yoga clothes again, I won't miss them too much.
I'm finding a few minutes during the week to type some thoughts here and then on Sunday try to compose it all in some semblence of order and post it. I hope I'm not rambling too much.
On the other hand, a few rambling thoughts from the week follow here. Some are my own, many are those that Emmy shared with us during class or afternoon lecture.
No one told me before I came here that Coca Cola is the BEST medicine EVER invented. Who invented this stuff and where have they been hiding it? I'm not talking about the Diet Coke stuff. Or the caffiene free stuff. This is real, actual, original, Coke. Ahhhhhhhh.
The final 30 minutes of your yoga class IS your yoga. The first part is just the warm-up. The final 30 minutes of class is where you "take from the pantry" (again...Emmy). You will burn more fat in the final 30 minutes, so don't waste it by being lazy. Use up your pantry. You don't need all of the stuff you have in there!
"Lazy" is a favorite word of Emmy's. :)
In a posture, hold the stretch long enough to disarm the "stretch reflex." Stretch to your edge and HOLD IT (this is why your teacher tells you to "hold it" at the exact moment when you are ready to give it up). The reflex is designed by the body to protect it. If you actually hold it at the end, you are training your muscles to stretch just a little bit farther NEXT time. Think of the cumulative effect that will have!
You don't need ego gratification. That gets you nowhere. The object of the posture is NOT the "perfect" posture.
We only have 25 more days to survive. We will not count weekends, as they are mostly free. We will not count Week Nine, as we will be so happy then, that it won't matter what happens. So, we will only count the next five weeks, without weekends, that's twenty-five days!!! That seems pretty doable! Not that anyone is counting. We are not supposed to count.
Someone always says, one of the visiting teachers or a staff member here, at least every other day or so..."You will never have the chance to do this again...stay in the moment and enjoy it. Nine weeks of your life. Never will happen again." And we all have our own personal response...in our heads, of course, and not out loud. Something like "Thank You, Jesus!" "Praise the Lord!" Something like that.
Karen and Pavida are coming next weekend for teacher recertification. I am SO excited to see familiar faces from home. It will get me through next week, I know it. I will look forward to their visit all week and enjoy being with friends over the weekend when we have a chance to get together. Plus, I can try to beat them up. After all...they started this whole thing. I can still see them behind the teacher desk at Stony Point telling me that I could do this. Hmmmmmm.
And finally...earplugs. My new best friends here. Staying in the hotel, you never know whether the room next to you (which happens to be a suite in my case) will have noisy guests or quiet guests. When your neighbors are watching very LOUD television at 3:30 in the morning, it is vital that you have a method of quieting that down. Sleep is such an elusive thing here. So, earplugs have been my salvation this week. This was a tip that I read somewhere on a list of "what to bring" that was posted by a former teacher trainee. A nice quiet room and peaceful sleep is just two little squishy foamy tubes away.
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